My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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