People with herpes should wear stickers.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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