Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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