it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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