had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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