arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
My underwear smells like fireworks.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
