I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
All I want is dick and wine.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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