glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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