Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
