If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
