census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
