to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
This baby is an asshole
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
