My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
