Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You were trust falling into bushes
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
