she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
