When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize