first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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