We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
