now i know why i became what i already was.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
