The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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