Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
