she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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