I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
