I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Alive.
So much puke
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
