is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
