just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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