physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
