i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
