he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
