fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
