Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize