I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
So many bounce houses so little time
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
