i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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