Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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