Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
