Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
