Sry I called you an 8
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
