I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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