Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
