shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I have feelings that need drinking.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize