I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Apparently you make a good broom.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
