Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
