He disabled his match.com account in front of me
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
MIDGETS
????
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
