oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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