Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
