I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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