So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I smell stomach acid.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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