i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
