...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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