He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
