im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
