remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
