didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
me + whiskey = a bad person
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
