Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
