Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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