I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
