Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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