we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
