WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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