we're blogging at a bar
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
