i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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